Paranoia. @ Saturday, December 10, 2011

Well hello there guys I am back to blogging again for now it seems. Why? Because I have nothing to do nahahah (while actually, I should be doing Wiifit anytime now because I have a bet to win)

Life has been really good especially since yesterday because of... reasons. Let me list them up for you, it's a small list, but they all worth big time.

That's another story altogether, so if you don't mind, let me tell you about the bad things in this post because it's been going around my head today.

Apparently, some people are just plain stupid. Come on don't deny it, you know you are, at least once in a while, I am too. Some people don't understand the circumstances that they put on another person could affect more than that other person itself. But we all do mistakes that are forgiveable, but question is: is it forgettable enough?

In most cases I am a person who... doesn't necessarily hold a grudge because I do forgive what other people do wrong (as was previously said, mostly) but just like a trauma, the thought keeps haunting you; what if you do the same thing again and history repeats? I wouldn't like that of course. I love studying history but I don't like being involved in the same old thing again, I like to start afresh. So once upon a time, this one fight happened right--and since then I have stopped trusting people, and it hurts; I have to keep everything to myself. I have to fight for myself all by myself, no one could help me.

Then suddenly it hits me, what if I am drowned in my own little world that I start forgetting that there are some others who I can put parts of my life into, who can help me when I need help? Then I think again, some people don't need to know everything they can just f off and live with what they know, so is it wrong to want to pour out your feelings? No.

I believe what I was going through then (not as much now) was called paranoia, what if, what if, what if and more what ifs. What if these what ifs would never happen, see? Okay, let's put that back for now, and focus on what I was going to talk about.

Please please please, to my loved ones, the people who you think are good are not always good. They are bad, everyone, and I really mean, everyone can do bad stuffs. We're not gods (ahuuu!) and trust me no matter how perfect I am in your eyes I am built with bits and pieces of evils as well. Pfft, and I told you to trust me just a second ago. Just because they seem to be a really nice and innocent people, don't you think they annoy you? It annoys me for real, I mean come on, I was born in a family raised with ethics being number one and I end up with mouthfuls of fucks and shits and bitches and more rubbish? Please, don't put the faults on yourself. It's not wrong to blame others, it's never wrong. They might be wrong? You might? Or it might be me.

I do forgive her but I can't actually say that I forget about what she did to me, oh, and her gang, for sure.

It may be said that I said this out of jealousy (it's a relationship duh and it doesn't happen often) but yeah. Actually...

I am the wrong one from the very start because, welp, why did I even talk about it to the others? Silly me. :')

I don't care if the world is against me but hell those girls are bad news, at least now and then, I don't want to influence my friends about this but no, I am not going to forget neither will I change my opinion (excuse my stubborn head). This is a lesson learnt, and oh really, you forget your lessons after you learn them?

So, to all who is reading my blog. Good luck to you all in your life, and... please hear me out, a mirror doesn't even show the true reflection of someone. So be careful when getting all close and goody goody with your friends, it's OKAY to pick who you want to be close to and who you don't want to be close to.

Oh and um, don't think too much. Remember when...

Cheers and best wishes,

Angee Ross Cadaverini